You and your spouse tried everything, but nothing seems to work. What not? Divorce doesn’t seem like such a bad idea after all. But how do you tell your children about it?
Especially if your children are still too young to understand, choosing to and when to tell them is essential for having a “friendly” divorce. If your children find out in the worst possible way (while listening to you and your spouse fight about it), it may affect their psychological development at a later stage of life.
Here are some points that will help understand if you are ready to talk to your kids about your divorce, and a few tips to help you cross that bridge.
When To Do It
The most important thing about telling your kids about your divorce is the timing. Unfortunately, there is no such thing as “good timing”, but there is “smart timing”. One such instance is after a major holiday (not before) when your children are full of energy and life. Sitting them all down and breaking the news will not seem so harsh as for example breaking the news before a major holiday. It is all in the timing and the way you do it. Which leads us to the next tip, and that is: The Word Choice
Things That You Should Say
This is the part where you and your spouse should choose the words carefully, as everything you say can be misinterpreted by your children. Never start anything with “it is your mom/dad’s fault”, as that will just heat up the whole thing even more. Instead, use words such as “you will always have both parents” and “mommy and daddy have to move on, but they will always love you, no matter what”.
If your spouse doesn’t wish to address the kids the way they are supposed to do it, consult with Divorce Attorneys in Salt Lake City and see how you can use it against them in court.
Know Who Gets The Custody Before you Break The News
The best way to protect your children entirely would be to know where each kid will live before you break them the news. The smartest way is to keep the kids together, especially if they are still young. Siblings need each other to grow up surrounded with love and joy. If you are a loving parent, you will never split your children unless they are old enough to choose sides.
Never Ask Them To Choose
If they are less than 18 years of age, it is unlikely they will understand the whole thing. For that reason, you should never ask your children to choose where they want to live. A parent who does that is not thinking about the child’s best interests.
Salt Lake City Divorce Attorneys advise you to devise a plan and present your kids with the bad news with as little information as possible. Don’t overshare, as it will definitely create confusion and panic among the children.
For all other information, feel free to contact attorneys and schedule a consultation where you can learn more about how to tell your children about your divorce, as well as receive proper legal representation in your divorce.